The march of the heart.
So, I am a Child, but in name. I remained one purely out of inertia; it would be too much effort to be, I assumed, truly Pious. If only I had... then I would know now how to seek the Mother's favour.
If it were enough to love and to care, all of these years alone... my heart blasted by grief was then scorched by the regular abuse of being Tyen. If there are two suspects for a crime, and its a choice between a human and a Tyen... the Tyen is the one charged. I walk down the street, and I feel something strike my neck, I turn, and discover I'm haunted by invisible pranksters since no one saw a thing. No wonder I was coming to hate this city, and its occupants.
Were it not for her, I would have become one of those bitter, hateful Tyeni that tried to raise me. Love can heal any wound, I realize now. Bitter it is, to realize the joke, to realize /why/ people ask for Ylessa's love. They want healing, not love for its own sake. How wrong they are... but I too seek Her love, and for that very reason. Again, I go against the scripture, against the common wisdom.
Is it so wrong to care for her? No matter what she was born as? She looked past what I was, to see /who/ I was. She did that because she was blind, so I too have looked past her skin. I want her to grow, to be successful, and I know she could be. If only she weren't so afraid...
I sold it. My coin. For her. In a fit of worry, I knew I would not reach the bank in time, nor would I be able to afford the items so desperately needed. I passed by the store, hurrying, and a glint of gold transfixed my eye. Centuries, eons, and I was inside selling it. Jaw set, I failed in my small quest to find the neccesary items. Curses... the shortages, the cycles of supplies and of demand... luckily she lived, by Ylessa's grace.
I failed her then, but I will not do so again. I will do what I can to earn Her favour, such that the next time, and I know there will be a next time, if only to strike at me, then I can actually do something for her. Yes, but what about my legs, someone might ask. I... do want them healed, yes. But I have my servants to act as my legs. No, it is her that I fret and worry for. Not as a lover no, my Tyen blood would never forgive me, but as a parent.
If it were enough to love and to care, all of these years alone... my heart blasted by grief was then scorched by the regular abuse of being Tyen. If there are two suspects for a crime, and its a choice between a human and a Tyen... the Tyen is the one charged. I walk down the street, and I feel something strike my neck, I turn, and discover I'm haunted by invisible pranksters since no one saw a thing. No wonder I was coming to hate this city, and its occupants.
Were it not for her, I would have become one of those bitter, hateful Tyeni that tried to raise me. Love can heal any wound, I realize now. Bitter it is, to realize the joke, to realize /why/ people ask for Ylessa's love. They want healing, not love for its own sake. How wrong they are... but I too seek Her love, and for that very reason. Again, I go against the scripture, against the common wisdom.
Is it so wrong to care for her? No matter what she was born as? She looked past what I was, to see /who/ I was. She did that because she was blind, so I too have looked past her skin. I want her to grow, to be successful, and I know she could be. If only she weren't so afraid...
I sold it. My coin. For her. In a fit of worry, I knew I would not reach the bank in time, nor would I be able to afford the items so desperately needed. I passed by the store, hurrying, and a glint of gold transfixed my eye. Centuries, eons, and I was inside selling it. Jaw set, I failed in my small quest to find the neccesary items. Curses... the shortages, the cycles of supplies and of demand... luckily she lived, by Ylessa's grace.
I failed her then, but I will not do so again. I will do what I can to earn Her favour, such that the next time, and I know there will be a next time, if only to strike at me, then I can actually do something for her. Yes, but what about my legs, someone might ask. I... do want them healed, yes. But I have my servants to act as my legs. No, it is her that I fret and worry for. Not as a lover no, my Tyen blood would never forgive me, but as a parent.
posted by Zeroth at 5:00 AM
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